Wishful thinking

I wish we could remake this.

I wish I could find myself again.

I've gone to every place and

I'm left with the memories, alone inside my head.

I know I'm supposed to think you're a monster in disguise, but I can't make them understand how it felt to look in your eyes. 

I hope you can understand I tried everything I could, but I was fighting someone who had control of every place I stood. 

If you saw everything I went through behind the scenes, maybe you could see Why I had to accept that my love was an alternate reality. 

I had to give up on what I felt inside my breaking heart, if I hadn't I would've tore my family apart. 

Believe me, I fought for you until the day she drove off in her car. I knew if I continued I would cause an even bigger war. 

I struggle every single day to keep you out of my thoughts, but the emotions I feel are pressurized like boiling water in a teapot. 

I know I will never be the same girl that loved so innocently but I'm done distracting how I feel to fool myself that I'm happy. 

I woke up one day and said out loud, "I'm done living this way." No more pretending because I've lost myself along the way.