Let me start with the first part. I'm nineteen. Here are some things I've heard, "you're so successful for your age," "they won't promote you again until you're 21, they never do," "you're too young to worry about that." They are right about a few things. I am young, but I'm not too young. I am pretty well off, but my age has nothing to do with it. I shouldn't worry so much, but again age has nothing to so with how much I worry. Growing up I would hear my parents say, "you'll understand when you're older," and "when you're your brother's age..." I hated hearing those things then as much as I do now. I've never categorized myself because of my age. I accept that I will grow and learn from experience, but I have experienced more in my nineteen years than some people experience in a lifetime. I would say I've learned things the hard way, but I prefer to say I learned things the real world way. I collect experience as it presents itself. It's as if some people believe you are giving information when you turn a certain age. I can't wait until I'm 21 and I get the answer to life. Oh wait, that doesn't happen. You aren't given answers. You are given life experiences that you analyze, in my case over analyze. On the other hand, I understand in certain situations age is important. I understand how the development of the brain works. Some concepts can't be understood at young ages, so I don't fault my parents for waiting on certain things. However, I'm not going to stunt my growth because of a number. I know when I am ready for new goals and when I need to reevaluate preexisting ones. Progress is a process it's true, but my progress isn't on a timeline someone else sets out for me. My progress is in my own control.
Now to address an even more sensitive subject. I am woman hear me roar. No really, hear me out. I don't want to turn into the exact thing I'm complaining about because it would be so easy, but I've had a lot of bad experiences with men. These experiences have changed me, as any experience will, but this one has been big. However, the problem isn't just with men, it's with women too but I'm getting too far ahead of myself. So many sensitive subjects can arise from this but I have had men tell me that, "he probably just likes your ass," in reference to compliments on work performance. This was a person I've had multiple conversations with. A person who has also evaluated my work performance and complimented me. He gave himself away. Yes, I do a good job. No, it's not because I have a "nice ass." I would like to add that after I was told this, I got up out of the chair I was sitting in told the asshole that our conversation was over and left the room. (Pat myself on the back for that one.) Now, if you think my ass looks good in these jeans that's very flattering, but don't ever think my success is attached to my rear end. That only applys to people who make money taking their clothes off. My job requires a uniform. This is where I want to stand up for empowerment. I am not a feminist, but I am a female who thinks that EVERYONE needs to stand up for themselves. This is an area I'm constantly working on because it's very easy to be afraid, especially in young individuals. Your success isn't measured by your appearance. Have integrity. I could keep going on and on about this one, and I'm sure in future posts I'll bring more things up but I need sleep.
I don't know where I stand as far as faith is concerned. I do know I have this life. I don't know what comes after, but I do believe you should make the most of life. I believe in finding yourself, because what's the point in life otherwise? Have confidence. Don't let someone else paint your canvas for you. Take the brush in your hand, and make decisions based on your desires. The outcome won't be disappointing.
Goodnight.
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